Twas the Morn After Yule Ball
by RZZMG
Summary: 'Twas the morning after Yule Ball… and a certain, crafty voyeur has captured all the scandalous ramifications for us! Features: Luna Lovegood as the poet, and a whole cast of Slytherins, Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs getting into a load of naughty mischief. Romance, Comedy. 2012 Interhouse Fest entry. COMPLETE!


**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

**This was my 2012 Interhouse Fest (interhouse-fest . livejournal . com) entry. The fest is over and reveals are out, so now I can post this for you here. ****This fanfic is a one-shot and is finished. Here was the prompt I worked from:**

_Prompt: #65- God gave us Mondays to punish us for what we did over the weekend.-Morning after the Yule Ball (or similar event). Let's take a peek into the hallways of Hogwarts to see who is hungover, sleeping in, or most importantly, who is doing the walk of shame._

**Thank you to my beta, Ladysashi, and to the Interhouse Fest Mods for running this wonderful fest again! I was thrilled to participate this year for the first time!**

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**"Harry Potter" is the property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. This fanfiction was written entirely for fun, not for profit, and no copyright infringement is intended.

**TIMELINE:** Hogwarts-era A/U (no war, no Voldemort resurrected).

**CHARACTERS FEATURED (alphabetical order, last name):** Marcus Belby, Michael Corner, Vincent Crabbe, Seamus Finnigan, Gregory Goyle, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, Padma Patil, Parvati Patil, Harry Potter, Lisa Turpin, Ginny Weasley, Ron Weasley, Blaise Zabini, The Bloody Baron, The Grey Lady… and introducing Luna Lovegood as 'The Poet'

**SUMMARY:** 'Twas the morning after Yule Ball… and a certain, crafty voyeur has captured all the scandalous ramifications for us!

**RATING: **R (M)

**WARNINGS:** Implicit heterosexual and homosexual sex situations (including: drunken one-offs, successful seductions, morning after regrets, and new romance). Comedy. Characters slightly OOC because of the alternate universe scenario.

* * *

**_THE STRANGER_**

**BY RZZMG**

* * *

'Twas the morn after Yule Ball,

and all through the castle,

naughty students were stirring,

some of them baffled.

.

"Alas, where am I?"

cried the dazed Potter boy,

all wrapped up in satin,

sprawled next to Malfoy.

.

"Don't you remember?"

Granger asked with a sigh,

her bare bottom naked

to Harry's keen eye.

.

"Draco's seduction

was technically brilliant.

His tongue may be skillful,

but hardly is gallant."

.

"Relax," Draco crooned,

snuggling her with a sigh.

"I won't tell a soul,

so foul don't you cry."

.

"Hush up, over there,"

Zabini rumbled and grumbled.

"I'm trying to sleep!"

He tossed and he tumbled.

.

"You're hogging the covers!"

Ginny growled at her lover.

"Blaise, give me some blanket,

you unbelievable hoarder!"

.

"Silence, I've had it!"

Nott complained with a whine.

"You make too much noise!

I want my room re-assigned!"

.

"Like you're one to talk,"

Marcus Belby did tease.

"Last night was amazing!

We _all_ were well-pleased."

.

"Speak for yourself!"

Padma gasped, sitting up.

"I wanted much more,

than a two-thrust pump-chump!"

.

"Marc pleased me quite well,"

Parvati debated.

"It's no fault of his that

_your_ lust's unabated."

.

"Cat fight! Cat fight!"

Crabbe cried from nearby.

He jumped to his feet,

rather healthy and spry.

.

"No fair," groused one Goyle,

"your hangover's gone!"

"I curse you, Vin-boy,"

Greg proclaimed with a yawn.

.

"Not his fault, silly berk,"

Malfoy said with a laugh.

"You can't hold your liquor,

Not even by half."

.

_**/*/*/*/*/*/**_

.

Up from the basement,

Nev hoped not to be caught…

but collided with Lisa,

thus becoming distraught.

.

"Watch where you're going!"

Turpin whined with a growl.

"Not my fault," he defended,

"but no harm, no foul."

.

"Why up so early?"

she asked, with a blush.

"Breakfast's not for an hour.

You avoiding the rush?"

.

Neville dropped his eyes slowly,

to buy his thoughts time.

A lie would behoove him;

it would cover his crime.

.

But fibbing was foreign,

and felt very wrong.

His emotions were warring.

His silence was long.

.

"You don't have to tell,"

Lisa offered him kindly.

"I'll pretend not to see you.

I'll walk by you blindly.

.

And I won't tell a person

what I've seen here today.

Your secrets are safe,

because I don't betray."

.

"You're very sweet, Lisa."

Neville's face was beet-red.

"Why couldn't I like _you?_

I've been awfully misled."

.

He stammered and stuttered,

confessing his sins.

"He tricked me with words,

and some pretty slick grins.

.

We started out dancing,

and ended up kissing,

but by the night's ending,

my trousers were missing!

.

This morning he sneered,

and he threw me away.

He laughed as I dressed,

to my utter dismay.

.

That Zacharias Smith,

he's a terrible git!

He's broken my heart, and

put me into a snit!"

.

"I'm sorry to hear that,"

Turpin fiercely exclaimed.

"If you want me to punch him,

I'll defend your good name!"

.

Neville blinked in surprise,

seeing something quite new

in this Ravenclaw witch,

come to his rescue.

.

"You're certainly brave."

He looked at her closely.

"I can't thank enough.

Your offer's quite lovely."

.

"But no need to fight,"

he announced with a smile.

"How 'bout we have breakfast,

and talk for a while?"

.

Their arms linked as one,

they went up to the hall,

to share a choice meal,

to the surprise of us all.

.

_**/*/*/*/*/*/**_

.

The Baron was hurrying

to the castle's far tower,

to see his beloved,

his Ravenclaw flower.

.

She'd recently allowed

his suit for her hand -

ten centuries after

his presence she'd banned.

.

No longer in chains,

blood gone from his clothes,

he'd cleaned up his act,

for the sake of his rose.

.

He zoomed to her bower,

the hour was late.

"I'm here at long last!

I'm here for our date!"  
.

Helena smiled,

"It's fine, I assure.

I'm glad that you came

to knock at my door."

.

"I'll always be with you,"

The Baron declared.

"Your slave e're eternal.

My heart in your care."

.

A ghost cannot blush,

of that I was told.

But then, just that moment,

my eyes did behold…

.

The Grey Lady's cheeks,

burned bright crimson fire.

She held out her hand.

"Come with me, dear Sire."

.

The Baron reached out,

and their fingers did meet.

"My lady, I'm yours.

I love you, my sweet."

.

They floated together,

down halls and away,

lonely fates laid to rest,

a new, promising day.

.

_**/*/*/*/*/*/**_

.

Justin Finch-Fletchley

was a man of good taste.

He was also so cheap,

he thought _everything_ waste.

.

"Bah, Christmas," he sniggered,

"it's only a jape!

I'll never spend money

on ribbon and tape."

.

"You know what they say

about shameful skinflints,"

Michael Corner did warn,

with a snickering hint.

.

"They say they'll be lonely,

in their sad, single life,

with nary a shag,

much less a good wife."

.

"What need I of women?"

Justin declared with a laugh.

"I have you for such needs,

so who needs that chaff?"

.

"I won't always be here,"

Michael said with a sigh.

"This is only 'til June,

then we'll say our goodbyes."

.

"Don't say such a thing!"

Justin cried, with a frown.

"I want you forever.

from sun-up to sun-down.

.

What should I do

to assure that you'll stay?

I'll announce it at breakfast:

I don't care that we're gay!

.

Let everyone gossip,

Let everyone chatter.

You're all that I want-

the only thing that matters!"

.

Michael stared at his lover,

with glistening eyes.

"Give me always with you,

and I want no more lies.

.

No more cheating with Ernie.

No more sleeping around.

Commit to me fully,

I want our hearts bound."

.

"You'll have it," vowed Justin.

"I give you my heart."

"My gift to you, Michael.

May we never part."

.

"My Christmas comes early!"

Michael said with much joy.

"See, you're not so much thrifty,

as you think, dear Head Boy!

.

You waited for this day

to give the best gift you could.

I'll cherish it always,

just as _you_ should."

.

"You're right!" said Finch-Fletchley,

"I've discovered the spirit.

True giving is getting,

and getting is kismet!"

.

_**/*/*/*/*/*/**_

.

Far above, in the towers,

a loud, piercing shriek

"What are you doing,

you red-headed freak?!"

.

"Get your lips off my throat!

Get your hands off my bum!"

Pansy shouted with ire.

"Or I'll break both your thumbs!"

.

"You didn't complain

last night for a mo',"

Ron said with a laugh.

"You gave me the 'go'."

.

"When morning comes 'round,

such permission… it ends,"

the Snake Queen refuted.

"So, let's just pretend-"

.

"Too late for that!"

Finnigan deemed with a grin.

"You wanted us both

to take you a spin!"

.

"Last night was a laugh,"

Pansy tossed back with spite.

"Drunken fools we all were.

We partied all night."

.

"None of that matters,"

she continued, ashamed.

"It meant nothing to me.

It was all just a game."

.

"Enough of that, woman!"

Weasley roared with some bite.

"The both of us liked it,

So, quit picking a fight!"

.

"I'll punish you proper,"

he said with dark glee.

"Again and again, your

bum over my knee."

.

"You two make me tired,"

Seamus sighed and hopped up.

"These games that you play…

man, it's really enough.

.

Think I'll head for a shower.

The room is all yours.

Please avail yourself of it,

just lock all the doors."

.

Alone at long last,

Pansy stared in Ron's eyes.

"You won't tell a soul -

I would _strongly_ advise."

.

He daringly grinned,

and gave her a wink.

"How's one for the road?"

He held up a drink.

.

"That's what got us here,"

she reminded him well.

He laughed and he shrugged.

"So, who's going to tell?"

.

They shared one more cup,

and fell back into bed.

So much for strong wills,

when there's lust in the head.

.

_**/*/*/*/*/*/**_

.

Thus ends my true tale

of Yule Ball hereafters.

Most ended with love,

and some even with laughter.

.

It's true what they say:

Drink loosens the tongue…

and the brain and the body,

for all sorts of fun!

.

Good thinking on my part

for spiking the punch.

The Wrackspurts, they prodded;

they were tickling that hunch.

.

I'm happy to say that it all

ended quite well.

Merry Christmas to you.

Hope you're holidays' swell!

.

_**/*/*/*/*/*/**_

.

Three hours after she'd begun writing, Luna put her quill down, her commemorative poem finished.

It was her favourite of the bunch she'd written over the years, and would fit perfectly in her book (once it was published, post-graduation) between "The Halloween House Bender of 1997" and, hopefully (if all went according to plan this upcoming February), "The Valentine's Night of Naughty Frivolity of 1998".

She waved her wand over the parchment, drying the last of her words to paper. The special ink sparkled in the sunlight streaming through the library's tall, gothic windows, and reminded her of the glittering sparks that Wrackspurts gave off during the mating season.

_So pretty…_

The castle bells tolled the noon hour, drawing her attention back into the here and now. Her stomach rumbled in agreement with the bells.

Yes, it was definitely lunchtime.

Gathering her things up, and carefully rolling the parchment for safekeeping, she slung the strap of her satchel over her shoulder and headed out of the library, already pondering the next big experimental event.

Perhaps for February, she'd invent a vapor delivery system for her special home brew, rather than spiking the spirits again. After all, Professor Snape had proved notoriously difficult to get to drink from the communal punch bowl ever since the "Spring Fling of 1995"…

"Where've you been, Luna?" Harry asked as she entered the dining hall and decided to take a seat at Gryffindor's table, across from her friends. He still looked a bit off-colour after the night he'd had, but at least he didn't seem to be suffering a hangover. She'd seen him vomit his guts up after the "Naked Easter Revel of 1996", and knew it to be an ugly sight. It was, in fact, the reason she'd purposefully engineered her special blend of Firewhisky this time around to remove all of the nasty side-effects of alcohol binging.

Harry's face colouring should never match his eyes.

"Yeah, didn't see you last night or at breakfast," Ron said around a mouthful of chicken-salad sandwich.

"Oh, I was around," Luna said with an airy smile, "and I definitely saw you. You just didn't see me." She reached into her satchel and pulled out Harry's Invisibility Cloak, placing it into his lap. "By the way, Harry, thank you for the use of your wrap. It proved to be very illuminating. Did you know that there are so many wonderful things you can see while hidden under an Invisibility Cloak? For instance, I didn't realize just how many of our fellow classmates liked to sneak around for a bit of illicit sex with members of other Houses."

Every student within hearing shot stopped what they were doing and stared at her in horror.

"W-what… exactly did you see?" Hermione asked, her cheeks a lovely shade of crimson.

Luna gave her a simple smile. "Oh, everything. Can you please pass the butter?"

As she took a bite of out of a sticky roll, Luna was quick to note how many eyes refused to meet hers as she swept her gaze along the width of the large hall… and how many strayed to others across the room in guilty pleasure to look longingly one more time at the object of their current fascination.

Oh, yes, Valentine's Day was definitely going to prove to be so much fun!

_**~FIN~**_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Happy Holidays to all! **

**Please review!**


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